Feel kinda disappointed but there’s still a part of me na still striving and hoping for the best. I decided to post here because the last time I made a text post about trying to study in UST,  now I’m so officially Thomasian ♥. (So I guess if I actually put here all my feeling you know, there’s a little possibility that I can achieve what I want, yeah weird but there’s no harm in trying ya know :) )and  I’m actually really happy about it but when I knew that I passed on the final assessment on the particular scholarship I applied to but the latter run of slots, so yeah, fuck yeah >.< I’m really sad, seriously :/ Maybe because apart from studying in UST, that’s my another dream, to avail that scholarship, but it’s really heartaching to know that you’re so freaking close in having it, but in the end you still didn’t get it,shit :|. Pero sbi ko nga I’m still hoping for the best, and I will follow up that shit to death lol =)) Khet makulitan sila sken haha, so yeah, I just wish na kayanin ko talagang mging optimistic hanggang makuha na xa, so help me God (-/-). Yeah end of my post XD Looking forward na mbabasa ko eto na and isa na rin akong scholar haha, lol assuming, ge bye :) :P

A question bugging me just this few minutes. =__= So now I am in the middle of complete confusion , because I don’t know if I’m gonna pursue my dream of studying in UST, or to study in my present alma mater PUP. Honestly, I’ve been imagining things na that might happen to me if in any case I would be studying in UST, and everytime I daydream, it makes me really happy, so pano pa kaya kung talagang mag-aaral na ko dun? And also, I just want to surround myself and break free naman from my usual routine, like seriously, I want to explore the world but pano mangyayari un, kung sa PUP na ko ngkindergarten, dun na rin ako nag high school, tapos dun pa rin ako mgcocollege? Hay, cguro kung may elementary nga dun, dun na rin ako pinasok -_-. And maybe, another reason why I do not want to study in PUP anymore, because of the memories that still pestering me until now, I want to eradicate those sad times na, kse I really really want to change as a person na, but how is it going to happen, if I’m gonna stay pa rin dun sa school na where obviously marami akong makikitang former schoolmates and classmates na obviously ayoko ng mkita. PERO, the reason naman na malaki din kung dapat dun na lng ako, kse we’re not financially stable para makapgaral ako dun :’( at naisip ko, mpapadali ang buhay ko kung dun ako mag-aaral, at ayoko na pahirapn si papa, like sa lagi nga niang sinasabi mababaon daw kame sa utang kung dun ako mag-aaral ng walang scholarship. Pero sabi ko sa knya, bigyan nia ako ng one year , at pipilitin kong magkaroon ng scholarship, tapos pag nde ko nakuha within one year, papatransfer ako. Ganun ang kagustuhan kong mag-aral sa UST, handa akong sumugal chos, pero kaakibat nun, katakot takot na pangungutang at paghahanap ng scholarships, etc ni papa. Hay , gulo ko noh? bket kse naattached ako mxado ng ganito sa UST, BKET?! ngeon tuloy ang sakit sakit na parang unti-unting gumuguho ang pangarap ko, haixt. OK, BAHALA NA LNG, KUNG PARA SA AKIN UN, CGURO MAKUKUHA KO UN. XD :| :) (spell, mixed emotions) SIGI BA BYE =))) #foreveroverthinker.

(Source: starsbewithyou)